| life |
[Thursday
3:33pm October 4th] |
| [ |
mood |
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 annoyed |
] |
So i'm not sick of hearing drama because I can honestly say its never going to change, so why fight against it? I love my friends for who they are, i would be lying if i said i loved them all the time. People are different and thats never going to change. I can tell you, that i don'tlike having people hate me because i am a certain way, but that doesn't make me what to change. all i know is in a few months, nothing is going to be the same, whether your moving or not, all the people you see every day are going to be gone, or around a lot less. So all the people you can't stand, you wont have to talk to, and i'm saying this now, the only people that are going to matter are the ones you make matter, so figure it out. Theres no such thing as a perfect person or perfect world so stop trying to change people. you are not god, and you are no better than anyone else. even if you have more money, or your smarter than me, you are not better than me, you may not like me and i'm sorry for that but you don't have to deal with me forever, so get over it. If i'm sounding like a complete hypocrite im sorry sometimes it takes me a little while to figure things out, and it definately helps when your seeing it happen to other people around you. Now that your fighting i see how ridiculous i'm being when i'm fighting with someone. If your someone who seems to have many problems with many people, maybe you should stop looking at what everyone else is doing to you and see the bigger picture.
So my life has been good for the most part. Its not like i love school but i feel like i'm getting more done this year than well pretty much ever... I dont like English at all i changed English classes 3 times this year but i end up with the worst one.. thats what you get for being picky. i like photo but i spend most my time in Mrs D's class with BB Fender and Andi. I love film probably my favorite class this year, Megan and I probably laugh every single day at our stupidity. i like 3D a lot i love what were making, I dont like math but for once i understand it, i cant take the people in my class tho. i dont like AP art history, it is really fast especially for me, but im learning something so at least its worth something. I miss my friends a lot, like Heather Courtney Matt and Ryan I wish I could spend everyday with them but im so lucky that i have Megan this year shes my life and i'm glad for that. thats pretty much it so far. I kinda want a man... lol, for lack of better words. You know who you are. < Dorky kinky sexy fencing wannabe power ranger 3
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| I copied BB. |
[Sunday
9:48pm September 9th] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blah |
] |
1.We spend hours and hours and hours together, we can be real with each other, you are always there when I need you and I can tell you anything and trust you with it.
2.I love you and will always love you, I can tell you anything, u are always on my side, and I can trust you completely.
3.You’ve changed a lot lately. Its annoying, you keep blaming things on me and how I’m treating you. I haven’t done anything differently, but you have.
4.You are one of my favorite people I tell you every time we hang out and I still don’t think you believe me. I consider you one of my best friends, we don’t hang out as much as I would like. We do fight, but mostly you keep things to your self so I don’t really know how much you like me.
5.You are the very opposite of me but I love you for it, we are always trying to change each other but yet we end up changing ourselves. You are one of my favorite people, and yet you don’t believe me and I wish I saw you more.
6. You pretty much wont read this. But you are one of the coolest people I have ever meet I wish you would come back and I’m glad to call you my friend.
7.We are new friends, we don’t see much of each other I think your really fun to hang out with.
8.I know I’m mean to you all the time, but I like you a lot, your one of the most fun people I’ve ever met and I love hanging out with you, and talking to you, I just wish you weren’t so wrapped up in things.
9.I love you and hate you at the same time, I can not live without you.
10.You have changed a lot since we met I don’t like it at all, but we do have some good times still… rarely … lets change that.
11.You have been in my life for a long time and most of it you aren’t nice at all it bugs me a lot and you don’t think that it hurts me and I wish you would care more cause I like you as a friend and I’m sick of fighting all the time.
12. You make me laugh, your fun to be around and talk to but it never feels like your real with me, like your hiding. I don’t know how you feel about me and it bugs me cause I don’t want to annoy you.
13. Me and you use to be close and you drifted and now you don’t seem real to me at all. I miss the old you.
14. You lie all the time, it bugs me and I know you hate me. I wish I could understand you.
15. I like you a lot as a person and a friend but your two-faced and you hate me and I wish I knew why.
16. I think about you all the time and I didn’t think I would and I wish I didn’t but I miss you.
17. You mean a lot to me even though I think u need to grow up more but we are a lot alike.
18. Me and you don’t really get a long, we both have our own opinions and they are always opposite, I hate when you get defensive, we have different views of life and how to live it.
19. I think your weird but I like you, we never really talk but I have fun with you I hope I’m a friend to you.
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[Monday
4:32am March 19th] |
| [ |
mood |
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 loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Boston-augastana |
] |
Love<3
youmakemesmile
:D
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[Wednesday
4:35pm November 22nd] |
| [ |
mood |
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 depressed |
] |
Latelty everything sucks. Im pretty sure everyone hates me, althought i dont know why. Ive been working so much and its so fucking gay and boring i sit in the back and do nothing for 6-8 hours stright and when i go to talk to someone i get yelled at. Tim never works but im pretty sure he doesnt like me. Shanes prolly the only think that keeps me sane, but latly hes been .... dugh. This week turned out great tara ditches me the only night i have plans and so it pretty much fucked my week i get to go to my grandmas and then work work work.... and then school. I dont get to see my boyfriend i dont get to see anybody for that matter and i cant drive so its not like i can just get off work and make plans like the rest of u all do and i cant even get money when i need or food or i just about cant do anything and u all say its my own fault but please tell me what it is that i can do to, to be able to drive.
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| A waste of life |
[Friday
11:41pm October 6th] |
| [ |
mood |
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depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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none |
] |
So today really sucks, I had plans with Courtney and Heather to go to the Utica Homecoming game but then Courtney had to work, so she couldn’t pick me up. I called Mandy about 23445 times but she never called back. I asked Shane if he could hang out but he said no because Supposedly he was going to hang out with Sean, I asked him if that did not work to call me. Then later he tells me hes going skating with Billy… yea he really loves me. Then Heather asked me if I wanted to go to the movies with her Pete and Tim. I was like “HELL YEA”, but then she tells me that Tim and Pete had already left to get her and they weren’t gonna turn around to come back and get me. As this was all happening Dee came over to get my sister up so that her, Justin, and my sister can all go to a haunted house tonight…but I was not invited. I even tried to call my grandma even she had plans, but pat cheered me up...by inviting me to go play kidnapped tonight. tomorrow i get to spend my saturday babysitting... but its not like anyone really wanted to hang out anyways.
So just about everyday so far has been like this ... depressing my birthdays in two weeks ....prolly will suck as bad tho. shanes gonna be gone all next weekend and so far i havent got any plans... which will prolly stay that way. i love my life.
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[Friday
1:08am September 15th] |
| [ |
mood |
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depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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brand new. |
] |
TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder
TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder
TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder
TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder
TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder TryHarder
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[Tuesday
6:14pm August 8th] |
| [ |
mood |
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hungry |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
lips of an angel- hinder |
] |
I have a VERY slow boyfriend.
AND no food, ugh.
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[Wednesday
6:28pm July 19th] |
| [ |
mood |
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crushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Knife called lust- hollywoodundead |
] |
So i guess im gonna get this all out. It feels really hopless, why love. Were too young to be "in love" then why the hell do we date? heart break sucks, i mean i can still think of all the stupid little things that make me love him. i miss them. who wouldnt? the way he holds me. his lips, is hair, face, body, his voice. i think that sucks the most the phone thing, u know when ur with someone u can call them or they call u every night, its like u expect it. i mean 8 months and now no more phone calls. i hate it the most when i wake up and the first person u think about is them, and u want to be with them or call them but u cant HES JUST NOT YOURS ANYMORE. it kills the whole day. i hate watching something or listening to something and just knowing that once you had heard or seen it with them and WHEN THEY MADE U LAUGH AT SOMETHING OR SMILE! and the name in ur profile its like a statment HES MINE or SHES MINE and i love her.... maybe i read to much into things but im a sucker for that. or u know when u have something they gave u or something u gave them its like...ur fine ur fine ..all happpy going along with the day then u see and break down. throw it at the wall like FUCK! why do i still have that?? and u know u cant get rid of it, cuz it would kill u. my ring :(. i hate NOT knowing what there doing every second its like... do they miss me ? are they thinking of me too? are they just as upset? your just saying GOD MAKE IT STOP... you know? i know this is really long and it may be stupid to u, but its all i can do right now. thanks for reading it.
i hate breaking up. i love you shane.
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[Friday
11:38am March 17th] |
| [ |
mood |
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awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
seach the city- clocks and time pieces |
] |
I FUCKING HATE BEING 16!!!!
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[Saturday
9:17pm March 11th] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
exanimate |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Ex's And Oh's Atreyu |
] |
It's funni how you have have the best day of your life, and the worst all at the same place. Sometimes in the same second of the same time as the time of last year.
No one will understand the need to break.
As Well As Me.
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[Thursday
3:49am February 23rd] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
ecstatic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
never let you go- 3rd eye blind |
] |
So Shanes retarted but i love him
he tells me hes hanging out with jon
pisses me off
the gets his sister to drive him to mine house
it was awesome
:)
♥
i<3 mandi :( she never called back but i think she knew
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[Saturday
11:37pm February 18th] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Slow down- the academy is |
] |
so break is starting off kinda gay
I dont get to see shane this weekend
cuz my parents suck
and they made me go to my grandmas
and also on top of being with my 2 sisters and brother
i also get my 4 yr old and 2 yr old cuz's to watch
o joy
i hope when i get home
i get to see shane and hang out with my friends
which prolly wont wanna hang out with me
ecpt danny
hes coming up here thursday
this is by far the worst year ever
i ♥ shane
love
love
love
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[Sunday
1:19am February 5th] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
dee's singing |
] |
Danny PLZ dont hate me
im sorryyyyy
:(
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[Saturday
5:20am January 14th] |
| [ |
mood |
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amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the weakend- this ones for the understanding that will never |
] |
So today went to the show.
it was really fricken awesome.
i saw danny jamie n other freaks i dont see a hole lot like courtney and heather.
but i spend most of my time with shane.
mandi Dee and britt were keeping me awake the hole time with there endless amounts of energy.
I SAW THE WEAKEND PLAY
and a second to late (who i wasnt expecting to be that aweosme which they were) so yea all and all it was sweet.
i love shane to death that kid has now turned into my life
mid-terms next week EEKK and sucky schedule change no good classes ecpt GYM with britt dee n mandi but no shane in any :(
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[Sunday
7:30pm December 18th] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
last train home- |
] |
yesterday went to the show at k o c
it was awesome got to see all thos people
down there who rock made new frineds
n got to hang out with
trigger courtney n heather
only thing that sucked what i missed my
shane <333
can wait till the next one
:)
iloveushanesomuch<3333
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[Saturday
12:26pm December 3rd] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
none |
] |
so its 7 in the morning
and i havnt slept all night
its scary
waking up every half hour
i didnt know why
then i looked
and now im waiting ...
its boring and it hurts
but im not dying
wish someone could
be with me
to help me
though this
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[Friday
6:07pm November 25th] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
complacent |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
brid making nosies ..kinda annoying |
] |
so yea its break and im grounded ..trying to get out of it tho ... but i got into a fight with brittany ..ugh having a lot of family problems right now ...but who isnt ..this time or year ...i miss shane a hole lot :( but i'll prolly see him soon cuz i dont listen to my parents. thanksgiving sucked. my moms gay and shouldnt have showed up like the last 2 years she didnt come. but whatever it wasnt all bad. i got to spend the night be4 with britt n my grandma playing games and laughing cuz my grandams really funni. i won teaxes hold em :). they still owe me 5$ hah yea thats my gay life right now ...
iloveushanesomuch!!
call meCrazi599: where is that boyfriend of mine
call meCrazi599: :-(
Myemoheart3: idk im just his twin
Myemoheart3: ;-)
i also love brittany brothers lol :)
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[Sunday
1:25pm November 13th] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
chipper |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
panic! at the disco-It's time to dance |
] |
PARTY every day
Friday ..
-lazer tag
- ate at wendys
-taco bell
-got coffee
-went to playground
w/ Deanna, Shane, Heather , Tara, Jaclyn, Adam, and Tyler
Saturday
Brittanys house
w/ Brianna, Tara, Jaclyn, Brittay (of course) and Jake
Sunday
My house
- party store
W/ Brandon, Courtney, Heather, Ashlee, Brittany, Kurt, and Jessica and picking up Shane and Deanna.
:) good times
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[Wednesday
12:34pm November 9th] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
panic at the disco - its time to dance |
] |
Write 20 random facts about yourself then tag the same amount of people as minutes it takes you to write the facts. If you're tagged it's your turn.
1) Brittany brothers has been my best friend for like ever i love her
2) i love my boyfriend shane :)
3) i love my friends
4) music is my life
5) i dont like being a twin
6) i got a A+ in history lol
7) running sucks but im good at it
8) A Sharpie Changed My Life
9) im a very open person
10) im 16
11) i go to 711 everyday with my friends we have sence the summer began lol
12) me and danny talk everyday :)
13) i like saying blue in spainsh auzl lol
14) i love flim class
15) i love THE USED they fricken rock
16) if ur reading this i love u also
17) i hate the color pink
18) i like it when people know what im thinking
19) i like helping people when they tell me there problems
20) i hate drugs :(
i dont no how long it took me to do this cuz i was doing 2 things at once so yea i tag u if u read this
THANKS A LOT BRITT LOSER
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[Tuesday
1:51pm November 8th] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
hyper |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Plain white t's - hey there deliah |
] |
LOVE?
you
make
me
smile
<333333
:)
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